In Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness is an abstract entity with a moving goalpost.

For example, if you think, 'Only if my son scored a first class I'd be happy' or 'If my husband was less lecherous I'd be content' or 'If only i'd be taller...'Yes, it's true that all of this would bring you happiness if achieved, but that happiness would for sure be short-lived. Once you gained that, your heart and mind will settle on the next object.  Such as, 'Now that my son has a first class, I'll be thirlled if he gets into Stanford' or 'Hubby dearest is no longer hitting on other women, thank goodness, but only if he was less of a workaholic and spent more time with me...' Sigh.

Don't, dear friend, base your happiness on something you don't have, that you may have in the future. Because that is largely outside your control and that way you'll always be wanting. Instead derive your happiness from the present, from what you currently have and you'll find the truest gift of satisfaction. A good way to do that is to look at what you have and reflect on how fortunate you are to have it (conversely you can also think of those who don't have what you have) and be grateful. Seek happiness within rather than without. You will be surprised by how much there is to be pleased about, to feel blessed and happy.

Also, try not to have your happiness depend on expectations from others, base it on your own actions and potential repercussions because that alone is what you can influence. For example, if having your grown up child spending more time with you would make you happy, that my friend, may or may not happen and your depression may deepen. But you could find solace in a book, man's best friend- that's in your control entirely. If ice-cream makes you happy, get one yourself. Please don't expect your partner to get it for you. If they do, that is awesome. If they don't, don't be hurt :)

In conclusion, take charge of your happiness. Make it happen on your own merit. 

As I grow older I am more and more happy everyday because I truly practice the thoughts above. These have given me strength and calmness and faith in my potential to affect my own happiness. Not saying I am never depressed, but I have better handle on my state of being :)

For those who want to hear more on this topic, Sadhguru's video may be a great place to stop by!