Moms... have you considered?

It's mother's day today... and as I read so many wonderful posts around great moms a few not so great stuff I heard/read lately come to mind. This post is dedicated to all moms out there... moms who are mentally, physically and psychologically stronger than they think, more resourceful than they know, more independent than they like to believe and more capable of taking on any challenge than they admit!... And I am not here passing judgment so if I hurt sentiments, I sincerely apologize!
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Moms- There are few things we deliberately keep out of our mind or hate to think of. More so in the east compared to the west. We are superstitiously dismissive about it. These are- potential infidelity in marriage, divorce and mortality! We like to believe they don't happen to us but forget that they are very very real, happen all the time around us and can happen to us as well! When they happen to us, unless it is public, we keep it under wraps, we blame ourselves for our misfortune and suffer in silence. We deal with it sometimes well, sometimes not so well, sometimes with support and often without...

Throwing stats out there will take away from the essence of the message here since there are unlimited ways to slice and dice numbers, but just to get the conversation started- 

• 50% of first marriages fail (this is for US only and the numbers are higher for second and third marriages!)

• It is estimated that roughly 30% to 60% of all married individuals (in the US) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage...And these numbers are probably on the conservative side. Link
• Nearly 1.3 million people die in road crashes each year, on average 3,287 deaths a day. An additional 20-50 million are injured or disabled. More than half of all road traffic deaths occur among young adults ages 15-44.

This topic is too morbid and unwelcome so I will not go into a lot of details and keep my message below short. Fate has its way in our lives and if any of this was to happen, while they can't be prevented, there must be things we could/should do during the general course of living our life to deal with them. Few thoughts:

• Be as independent as you can
• Financially: We all have skills that are tradable for money, so make your own money. Not for money's sake, but to be independent and to grow necessary smarts. Fending for yourself makes you worldly aware, broadens your horizon, makes you multi-task, makes your partner more respectful and helps mitigate single earner risk. Remember the person you are depending on for your basics probably has too many dependents and that is not good for his stress, for practical issues like job-losses or health-issues or for the fact that life and relationships may not be forever! If one needs to suddenly critically  fend for herself and children at a later point in life, being prepared would be helpful!
• And otherwise: Pick up essential skills. Learn to drive, learn to cook, learn to use the internet for basic life needs! Not just this but other skills that are essential to be less dependent in your case- none of this is rocket science trust me, you can do it!

• Save when you can and be fiscally fit
• You are likely to have some financial assets of your own- money, property, jewelry, etc. Be aware of your assets, have them in your control, understand what money can do for you and how if you ever need to take charge. If you don't have any assets of your own, please change that asap! Remember, if a tragedy was to hit you would rather have fewer things to deal with.

• Make a will
• This is for women and men. If a tragedy was to befall, do you know who would take guardianship of your child or does your extended family know of your assets? Most likely not. Make a will- put down the details of your assets, your wish around guardianship of your child in your absence (god forbid), the executor of the will and terms of execution. In the absence of the same, crazy things can happen.

• Remember you are not alone, but prepare in advance as though you are!

I am not trying to scare everyone witless on a happy day. Just urging that practical considerations are made towards life and relationships and their potential. Also, I know motherhood is difficult and sometimes with small children around, all other considerations go out the window. That is real and you need to prioritize and in fact that's what makes you exceptionally strong, but those considerations should not hold you back from these considerations forever. Also, even if life is absolutely kind to you (God willing!), these can still be great steps towards your happy life, your psychological comfort and safety, your and your partner's peace of mind and your child's environment and future!

P.S: If you neeed some more encouragement, read this story I chanced upon online.