After 20 years of navigating the corporate corridor and social circles dominated by men - I’ve noticed a pattern. The higher middle to upper class Indian family man from the 60s to 80s is currently in a fascinating, sometimes messy, state of evolution caught between the "values" of his father and the "vibe" of his Insta / LinkedIn feed. Depending on his personality and how much he’s unlearned, he usually falls into one of five categories described below.
Note: These are frivolous broad urban archetypes and recurring patterns observed by me to invoke conversation and humor, so I have deliberately kept it light, airy, decent not ventured into deeper areas of psyche and behavior (which is not uncommon unfortunately)
These men grew up during the transition from a closed economy to a globalized India. Their approach to women is often a mix of deeply ingrained "values" and a veiled struggle to adapt to modernity.
1. The Benevolent Patriarch
The vibe: High quality linen shirt and a ‘Captain of the ship’ aura.
This man grew up seeing his loving mother make the perfect warm round phulkas (or crispy dosa or creamy kheer depending on where you are from) and approaches women with a sense of dutiful protection. He provides financial security and in exchange, often expects the woman to handle the "emotional gymnastics"of the home and family. He is respectful of his wife’s growing lifestyle needs but may struggle if she was to become more assertive than him. He sports a "consultative" vibe—meaning he’ll listen to his wife’s opinions but do what he thinks is best. If his woman and his family were at odds, the unspoken contract dictates the wife falls in line and makes peace.
2. The Transitional Ally (The "I Support You, But I support me more" Guy)
The vibe: Modern, tech savvy, and very proud of his working wife.
Often the "older Millennial," this man was raised with traditional values but entered the workforce just as women were becoming corporate leaders - he’s the woke upgrade with some legacy software running in the background. He’s a fan of the double-income life, mainly because it funds better lifestyle and provides a PR manifesto for his modernism, but he’s comfortable only if her paycheck is the "cute" one. He has selective traditionalism: he’s happy for her to have a career, but somehow, she’s still the CEO of the kitchen, the HR Director for the kids, and the Chief Diplomat for his extended family.
3. The Urban Egalitarian (More among Gen Y)
The vibe: Comfortable sporting the baby carrier and happy to move cities for his wife’s new job.
This man has evolved to view women as absolute peers. He likely grew up in a co-ed environment or a metro city and values shared responsibilities—from splitting the rent to splitting diaper changes. He prioritizes intellectual compatibility and emotional vulnerability. He is the most likely to seek a partner who challenges him rather than one who agrees with him. You might find him happily playing the "supportive spouse" while his wife climbs the corporate ladder to world domination. He treats in-laws with equal-opportunity respect and sass, and if a family drama unfolds, he’ll resort to resolving matters with a pro/con list. Because of his 'objective' superiority to other men of his generation, he could suffer from a subtle, often insufferable superiority complex where he may feel he is owed constant gratitude for doing things that are technically just basic adult responsibilities. He wants the "Gold Star" for not being a patriarch. He also often struggles to "hold space" for messy, undefined feelings trying to solve your sadness rather than feel it.
4. The New-Age Seeker (The "Aesthete Intellectual")
The Vibe: Minimalist tees and an intense "listening" face.
If the Urban Egalitarian is about splitting the work, the Aesthete Intellectual is about splitting the soul. He isn’t just okay with a powerful woman; he is specifically bored by anyone who isn’t his intellectual superior. He doesn't care about the kitchen or the paycheck; he cares about the discourse. He is turned on by spontaneous discussions on Sufism and Politics and fancies hand poured coffee over fancy wine. But there is a catch! While he is incredibly progressive on paper, he can be emotionally elusive, busy being so "evolved" that he struggles with the unglamorous, messy parts of being a married family man (like checking in on the in-laws or dealing with a clogged toilet). He values "personal space" and "autonomy" to the point of being detached from obligations. He views his family as a separate entity from his marriage. He won't make his wife "adjust," but he might also expect her to navigate her own battles while he stays lost in his "zen" bubble.
5. The Bollywood Dreamer (The "Old School" Romantic)
The vibe: Hero of grand gestures, overpriced roses and 20 hashtags anniversary posts.
Raised on a steady diet of 90s SRK movies (or regional equivalent), this is Raj or Rahul who thinks life is one long montage of grand gestures and overpriced jewelry and perfumes. He truly believes in "happy wife happy life" and can be incredibly devoted once he’s found or matched with one he settles for as his one true love - his wife need not be an intellectual equal but could likely be fasting for his long life, keeping the home and his bed warm and welcoming at all times and exuding the confidence of the queen on a pedestal. She’s the "delicate" strength and muse behind his success. If there was to be a family feud, this man would really struggle, emotionally sandwiched in the saas-bahu drama.
The world is colorful and as you look at the men in your life (or in the mirror) - you will likely see a cocktail of 2 of the above. You may also see a transition - a ‘provider’ slowly giving way to a ‘partner’. So let’s settle this: where do you land? And more importantly - is there a typical type 6 I have completely missed?
I think you ruined a very good topic by trying to be politically correct. It lacks your touch.
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