New year does not mean everything is new. It no longer even means a calendar on the wall will definitely be replaced! All it means is that another year has gone by taking with it another sizable chunk of living our mechanical lives and snapping out of it's monotony for a bit to stop, look back and reminisce the good, regret the bad and set some expectations for the future...The dreaded New Year Resolutions! Dreaded because they are more often too lofty and ambitious to be lived through!
Given how lazy I am, my New Years are always more about reflection on what's gone by than goals related to what could be. For me it also involves some prayer and much hopefulness.
These last few days of 2017, I followed the same pattern as every year end and reflected. Looked back on many many old photos (thanks to technology it is so easy to flip back and forth!) and wondered how I got so lucky! I remembered the the many amazing people near and far (through technology) who enrich my life everyday with their large and small gestures.
This year, I was able to let go of envy even further than before! I am almost entirely bereft of it I think. There are people more beautiful and more rich, more smart and more ambitious but they never make me feel small anymore. I am happy to be who I am and deeply satisfied with what I have. It makes me oddly complacent and stress-free!
I still have too much prejudice however. And while I know I could be a better person without it I seem to be unable to get past this.
This year I have rekindled an old meaningful friendship and made few new friends. With these new friends I have formed deeper, more meaningful relationships than I have with people in the past. I have invested time in listening, understanding, in trying to judge less and being supportive in ways I can. I have stayed clear of people who mostly bring out negative vibes in me and tried to be less confrontational to the best of my ability. The best of my ability is still not good enough though. I have a long way to go...
2017 I struck a great balance between work and life but not enough between life and health. 2018 would be auspicious if I can change that!
Traveling with family has been enriching - it's given me the chance to spend so much meaningful time with my dearest, to see and seek and learn and to get back to work refreshed. Looking forward to more fitness oriented outdoor activities with family in 2018 and to working with each other to bring out our best form.
Of everything that evolves, evolution has been the fastest with the 5 year old! She's sleeping on her own, brushing on her own and so so independent! She took turns learning some ballet, then soccer and has now settled for bharatnatyam and swimming. Seasonally she also took ice skating classes. 2018 I am hoping to introduce her to more rugged outdoor activities starting with rock climbing. Watching her grow, encouraging her to learn and experiencing life with her has been my biggest pleasure. Year on year I want to keep doing more of this!
I have learned to love my husband for who he is and appreciate his perspective more than before. This took years of arguing, some compromise, some maturity and lot of compassion on both sides. It's been worth all the effort and energy where in the end we look forward to our time together. I am grateful to God for helping me arrive at this point in life.
2017 has reinforced my belief that happiness comes from within, it is not a factor of your wealth or success or position. It stems from the choices you make around thoughts you want to entertain, battles you wish to fight, aspirations you want to chase or let-go, people you choose to surround yourself with and stress you are willing to carry. This is all a choice, no matter what station you are at, in life.
I have made my choices and I resolute to firmly stand my ground through 2018 and beyond...
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