Bear Encounters at Katmai National Park, Alaska!

"A beary beary scary experience at Katmai!"

Written by the friendly: Ajith Kumar (my husband)

Katmai National Park is one of the most prominent destinations in the world to see, observe and photograph Brown Bears (aka grizzlies). These are some fearsome beasts that need to be treated with a lot of respect as they are very temperamental and could go curious to furious within seconds.

This American national park is only accessible through air from Anchorage and number of entrants into the park is highly regulated. Brown Bears roam freely here and the visiting humans have to walk through the woods for a couple of miles (without any protective enclosures) to access the Brooks Falls Platform where the bears congregate to hunt the abundant sockeye salmon fish.

Early July 2018 we visited the park (husband, wife and 5 year old child). We transferred from Anchorage to a small unpaved airstrip in Kulik. We were accosted by thousands of mosquitoes on arrival before boarding our float plane for a short flight to Brooks Camp where the bears abound. Landing on an unpaved runway and flying on a float plane were both firsts for us, but more adventure awaited at Katmai.

After landing at Katmai we proceeded to the National Park Services visitor center for a quick orientation on etiquette to follow during our visit. This was an important session as the tips provided came in very handy later that day. We were told that we were highly likely to share the trail to Brooks Falls with bears. The rangers made it very clear that bears were not to be messed with (especially if its a mother with cubs) and a respectful distance (50 feet for bears alone and 100 feet for bears with cubs) should always be maintained at all times. More importantly, no running if you are accosted by a bear as that would kick off its attacking instincts and prompt an attack. [Read more here]

With palpable nerves we commenced our walk through the woods. In disposing off the food we had carried in, we took some additional time and the companions from our flight were long gone into the woods. So it was just the 3 of us and the single track leading us to Brooks Falls. We crossed a small bridge, met a friendly ranger on the other side and proceeded along the trail (with bear scat littered) confidently after a report of no bear sightings in the vicinity. We chatted loudly and sang songs to alert nearly bears of our presence and keep them away as per the instructions. However, as we rounded a corner we saw it...

A mother with 3 cubs about 50 yards away, purposefully striding towards us on the human trail. Not another soul in sight! We cautiously turned around and looked for an escape. Luckily the path we were walking on had a fork to the left and we saw a National Park Service jeep parked there. We hastily made our way there (the jeep was of course locked) hoping that the bears would just continue along the straight path and not take the fork. Well, of course they had to take the fork as well. We felt like sitting ducks - the worst possible combination of coming face to face with a family of sows. Within moments the bears were right next to us while we stepped further to hide behind the jeep. Shaon kept talking in a calm voice so as not to startle the bears and to alert them to human presence in the vicinity. The bears were only about 10 feet away from us when the mother briefly paused in her stride to look directly at us (we were completely frozen in fear) before sauntering on her way along with her cubs. I was able to get a hasty shot from behind, blurry because of my shaking arms.

We waited a few minutes before heading back to the main path. None of us, daughter included, would even heave a sigh of relief until much later. We were well and truly spooked and daughter wanted to get on my shoulders immediately (understandably so). We had another mile to walk to get to the safety of the platforms. F**k!

We just had a very narrow scrape with 4 grizzly bears (a mother and 3 cubs) and had made it out unscathed and still had a mile to walk up to the Brooks Falls Platform where we would be safe from stray, uncontrolled encounters. My daughter had gotten onto my shoulders with a scared expression and while we humored her, she nervously giggled and kept repeating how now she was a 'scaredy cat' - I should have told her that it made 2 of us in fact...

We made it back to the fork in the road and continued along our way. As we proceeded further the path narrowed in to a single person trail with heavy undergrowth on both sides. We were still all alone and continued talking loudly among ourselves so as to alert a bear to our presence. We approached another bend in the road and Shaon whispers urgently in to my ears - BEAR!

This one was jogging straight at us - oh god, now what! At the interpretation center, they had told us that after a mother with her cubs, the next most dangerous thing to possibly encounter could be a bear running at you - it is angry and needs to take it out on someone/something. However, there was a slight difference as this one was jogging. It appeared that it had some place to go and it was making haste to get there faster. They had told us - get off the bear's path and step into the bushes. We duly did that. The jogging bear was approaching us and we were literally only 4 feet away from it when it paused, gave us a cursory glance and proceeded along its way. We heaved a sigh of relief while our daughter let out a loud whimper this time - this was too close! The running bear paused and briefly turned towards us, eye to eye. Shaon kept talking in an even voice and helped calm our daughter. The bear lost interest in us and went on its way. Whew!!!

By this time I was shaking in my boots. We were deep in the woods and had no choice but to proceed to the platform. After a walk for another 15 mins with heart-stopping turns around a few corners, we finally saw the blessed gates and quickly got on to the platforms. On arriving we reported our sightings to the forest ranger after finally finding our voice and went on to the platforms to observe the other hunting bears from a safe distance and height.

We had to go back though at some point. All the 3 of us were too nervous to go back on our own and looked for other company to get back to the interpretation center. We found 2 other friendly souls walking back and tagged along with them. One of them even had a bear spray canister (which I should have carried myself if I had planned better) and we made it back safe and sound back to the interpretation center.

The intervening period on the platform would have to be one of the most engrossing wildlife experiences we have ever had as we saw the aplomb with which the bears were fishing and the most dramatic sight of a salmon jumping straight into the jaws of a waiting bear. We even saw 2 of the dominant, resident males almost come to blows over fishing rights before better sense prevailed and they both stood down to fight another day. You can find some of our videos here, here, here and here.

The national parks service has conveniently located a webcam just below the platforms so anyone with a decent internet connection can see live the activity as visible from the platform. You can see it here:https://explore.org/…/br…/brown-bear-salmon-cam-brooks-falls

We are only as old as we like to believe

One thing that repeatedly amazes me about the US is its senior citizens' willingness to not let age be an inhibitor for anything. This feeling was hugely enhanced on our recent trip to Alaska where I ran into multiple extremely up and about older folks!

Our bus driver in Denali National Park regaled the ~45 tourists on the bus with stories from her 18 years of riding people around the park. The bus ride was ~200 miles and officially 12 hours long but it lasted 15 hours because she was too intensely passionate about ensuring everyone had a good time and got the best pictures of nature and wildlife.She had started her day at 3 in the morning and was going to drop everyone off and head home by about 10 pm. And she'd often mention her 4 kids and many grand kids with equal affection and candour. She was more than 60 years of age and I could swear I could do with a lesson or two on being high on life from her. Mind you, unlike in India she was single-handedly responsible for the bus and tourists as driver, conductor and guide!! 😇

Then there was the 80 year old yellow cab driver from Israel who could tell us the price of every house on the way to our BnB in Anchorage... he had an idea for a supposedly million dollar GPS business for yellow cabs in Alaska if my husband was willing to partner with him. 😆

I also remember fondly that really old super cute gentleman on the Denali bus who ran to the Park Ranger to get a stamp on his National Parks Passport like he was a 5 year old. His excitement was palpable even at the end of 12-13 hours of bus ride and hikes! And the Park Ranger himself... Clearly one of the senior most in service at Denali (70 or so of age) - guided us through the Kantishna district hike and gave us presentations about the history and stories of the land like it was his first demonstration- the pride with which he lugged around his 2 bags full of historical exhibits and the authority with which he told the tales of the land brought vivid images of the difficult times and mining heritage of the place for all of us. Age wasn't a factor in his sprightly gait nor was it limiting his ability to provide everyone with an experience they'd forever cherish!

But I digress! This is really the story of Jim and Judy, our extraordinary hosts at Judy's Touch of Class BnB at Anchorage, Alaska.

My husband prefers the privacy of hotels while I love the element of socializing that a BnB provides so usually we split our vacation stays into a little of both. In Anchorage I booked the first 2 days at this BnB that is the house of Jim and Judy, house where they've spent 57 years of their marriage and raised their 3 daughters (currently married and settled elsewhere in the US) and now often entertain their 13 grand kids.

They were high school sweethearts, met in Grade 10 and dated 7 years before they married. I quickly rounded up that they were in their 80s! They have this large beautiful home of which they rent out 3 rooms to have company of Alaskan travellers not because they need the money but because they have this otherwise huge empty house that can be put to good use and they love to host and enjoy the company of travellers.

Jim offers to pick and drop his guests to and from the airport and downtown any time of the day and Judy makes an amazing hot breakfast (although their website only mentions continental) as guests gather around the breakfast table and mingle. The house is beautiful, full of heirloom knickknacks and weathered goods, quirky sign posts and gorgeous upholstery and is immaculately maintained by the residents. The three guest rooms have 3 themes - Rose , Lavender and a Nautical suite (in the basement) and each is a treat for home enthusiasts such as I. There are some amazing picture frames as well - of Jim and Judy's 50th wedding anniversary recreating the wedding cake from 50 years back alongside that of their wedding picture from the era of black and white. There is another of them wearing matching clothes with their 13 grand kids - ranging all ages from 20 to 1 (several of them adopted and equally loved)

From Judy's BnB

Jim is so so funny I was tempted to recycle his jokes as my own and Judy is warm and gracious. She shared with me that she suffers from some fairly serious age-related ailments but none of it seemed to take the slightest away from her immaculately ironed shirt or the tasty hot breakfast she served or the 10ish ice cream bins they laid out for my daughter and us post dinner. During the day Judy was hard at work with a huge project  underway in one of the rooms- she was sorting through hundreds of family photos, cataloguing them and pasting them in scrap book pages to preserve the memory of their good life.

Jim is also an active pilot, owning his own plane and ever willing to provide his guests a flight tour weather permitting. For this summer, they had one of their grand daughters visiting and in charge of housekeeping - she was an absolute sweetheart as well and my daughter had the best of time playing football and pool and whatnot with her while exploring the nautical suite [Check out Trip Advisor Reviews here]

My husband and Jim after taking a ride on Jim's plane

On our second night, we bonded with another senior couple that were visiting from New York. They were retired and well travelled and had many stories to share as well of their children, grand children and life.

Staying at Jim and Judy's was one of the 2 high points of this trip! Besides my awe and wonder, Ajith (who I said prefers privacy) was also absolutely enamored by our hosts, their personality and spirit. And they left such a deep, deep imprint on my 5 year old's heart and mind as well that she constantly mentioned how she misses them over the next few days!

We cannot decide how long we live, but it's certainly upto us to live it well. The level of independence, alertness and mobility Jim and Judy demonstrated despite obvious ailments, made me want to be them.

In India, where I come from, there is a constant awareness of 'old age' right around retirement which is mostly around age 60 and beyond that there is a sense of dependence on children and helplessness without them that I am being increasingly led to believe, is often more psychological than real. Do you agree life can be way more rewarding if we forgot our age?

4 tips to being a better parent to a teenager or young-adult

Parenting teaches us new lessons at every step of our child's life. While it may seem counter-intuitive, a large number of parents tend to struggle more as children grow, with a high degree of estrangement happening between parent and child as child gets to young adulthood. It was a prominent feature in my early adulthood years as the child and now I hear some of my older friends with grown children lamenting this has been their plight as parents, despite best intentions. My child is very young but as an offshoot of the conversations I have been having, I wanted to learn more about this matter to be better prepared for my future. Here I am sharing a gist of some of what I thought, heard, read and learned. I would love to enrich this summary of that with additional inputs, so please share feedback...

One would imagine it's easier to deal with an adult (or semi-adult/quasi-adult) kid. Adult to adult, it's all reason and common sense and should be so simple! And yet, we could not be farther away from the truth. Young adults and mature adults have very different perspectives. Ultimately, one is venturing into brand new territories while the other has been there, done that and wizened from their experiences and mistakes. Also, with changing times, the definition of right and wrong is constantly evolving so what may have been the best solution to a situation 20 years back, may not be the righteous path anymore.

As parents we often tend to be deeply protective of our children (well, duh!) and sometimes we show our protectiveness through an abundance of either

1. correcting, cautioning or reprimanding children for (what we think is) wrong behavior or
2. getting worked up about (what we think is) wrong and expressing our anxiety in big and small ways

While these work quite well for small children, parents need to exercise extra caution with older children as they branch out to a life of independence on their own. Tact needs to be the keyword in every interaction.

Deep concern and involvement in the child’s matters are absolutely golden parenting moves, you must think. Who if not a parent will look out for the child and help them even before they step into 'trouble'. If not for this, what good is in being a parent? While the emotion is fair, sometimes we get carried away with our urge to over-protect. Unfortunately for everyone (including these children) some mistakes have to be made for certain lessons to be learnt. Not everything can be taught. Some allowance must be given for children to experiment with their lifestyle choices, operate in the grey, stumble into the dark, recover from the shock and brace for life!

By being over-vigilant, as parents we tend to push the child away and make them unwilling to share their unformed or uncertain ideas and their deep, dark secrets. More than the fear of making a mistake or taking an uncertain step, the child is weary of the parent. Our anxiety or intense reaction is what they want to avoid most of all, not by not doing what they want to do but by hiding it away from us. So what should we parents actually do??

First, Build trust

As a parent, we are better served if our kids come to us no matter what and confide in us. If they tell us what's on their mind and what they may be struggling with we should help them by being approachable. So encourage that relationship... Take away the fear.

Second, Listen and Ask

When they come to you at their weakest, listen and then comfort. Hold back on the urge to provide direction, to jump in and fix things for them right away. Ask them if they need anything from you and if yes, ask how they'd like to be helped? Wait for them to articulate if they are looking for just a listener or guidance or more specific support. Don't assume. If they trust your motivation as a friend, they'll ask for your advice. If they suspect you are being an over-protective or angry parent, they'll recoil. If they have benefited from your deeper involvement and appreciate it, they'll say so. If not, stay put. It's ok, you cannot live their life for them, at least not always. So restrain the urge to jump in and save the day!

Third, Judge Not

Don't try the I-told-you-so approach ever, that is the worst of all the moves that furthers estrangement. Trust me, the child knows... Say it in your mind if you must! You do not need to rub it in. Also remember, you have had the advantage of being them (the child) before you became the parent. You have been in their shoe but they haven't been in yours. Cut them some slack. To quote Dumbledore from Harry Potter, ‘Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young’.

Fourth, Don’t Panic

Portray a sense of calm strength no matter what. If you are a nervous puddle yourself or are easily excitable, mostly anxious or quickly angry, your adult children will not confide in you. Even if you truly are that way, for your child's well-being, mask it and try to act put-together. They will want to save you the trouble if you are prone to anxiety and will want to deal with their mess on their own leaving you in the dark. If you want otherwise, prove to them from as early in their life as possible that you are the pillar they can lean on. This is an action that needs to start right away of you are a parent, no matter how old your kid is!

Disclaimer
While tips sound easy and fancy, every child is different, so is every parent and hence every parent-child relationship is unique. While the above ideas may generally hold true, there is a lot of allowance to be made for the personality of the child. For example, as against the guidance with #2 above, some kids may naturally crave more direct involvement even if they don't say so... hence it is also important to watch out and adjust accordingly. Seasoned parents seem to suggest that a trial and error approach helps them arrive at the most tdeal approach for their relationship!

Some helpful books on the related topic

• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
• 4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication in Love, Life, Work--Anywhere!: A How-To Guide for Practicing the Empathic Listening, Speaking, and Dialogue Skills to Achieve Relationship Success
• Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents

Respecting choice, celebrating being independent and living it up!

D= daughter, H= husband

This was a long weekend (Monday being a holiday) with the husband away camping at Death Valley National Park. Daughter and I were welcome to join but this time I wasn't in the mood for adventure that involved hard work so while he set off before dawn on Saturday morning, daughter and I snuggled in and snored.

Husband's weekend set-up at Death Valley

When we woke up, late and rested I felt the panic need to whip up a a meaningful weekend to make up for D missing out on the outdoor adventure. We started with sitting by the balcony in the golden spring sunlight while I massaged her hair with warm oil and ate our breakfast. Daughter also sorted her new snowflakes toy by colors in preparation for her playdate later in the day. We then set out to make some brown sugar raisin oatmeal cookies, a monthly mother daughter activity (Pro tip: I use whole wheat flour instead of all purpose flower and half the suggested sugar to improve on the healthiness of the recipe. This and a glass of organic whole milk is D's regular breakfast before school). D's contribution to the preparation was reasonably higher this time- she even cracked the eggs herself :)! Once I was satisfied with the dose of Vitamin D and life skills for her, we set the cookie batter to cool and went to shampoo our hair.

My late morning coffee and me, happy to chill :)

By the time D's school friend arrived for their playdate at 2, we had finished bath, lunch, some matching nail art and setting the house in respectable order. Over the next 4 hours as the kids turned the house upside down (of course!), I had the chance to nap a little, cook a wee little and generally catch up on some alone time.

Matching nail-paints for D and me!

At 7 after the other kid left, we set out for a pre-planned sleepover at my friend's place. There I got the much needed dose of adult conversation for sanity while D played with their 1 year old happily. We went to bed at around 12 am :O

Next morning we woke up late and explored my friend's backyard, picking lemons, discussing life hacks and and gorging on yummy Indian breakfast. Closer to the afternoon we left their place and proceeded to the city library. D read 2 books to me while I read 3 to her, picked a stack of 15 more and left. We went to Target (store) to shop some essentials, shopped way more than needed and while I left with guilt, the daughter hummed along happy with her new acquisitions! We proceeded to partake a late lunch of mom-daughter favorite Panda Express noodles, Orange Chicken and Honey Walnut Shrimp.

D picking books at the city library

D and her absolute favorite American food!

We came home to some household chores until it was dinner time. I had been secretly nursing a migraine all day and by now I decided I had to pop a pill. I made a quick but healthy scramble of eggs, split lentil and veges (to compensate with vitamins and protein for the junk during lunch) before daughter joyously hit the sack. I patted myself for going through 2 days with a 5 year old with no screen time and no whine! Hence as obvious, I settled to binge on Netflix with some chips and cold coffee to reward myself.

Humble dinner- my veges only and D's veges-with-egg-cheese-lentil

Monday morning after breakfast we were both invited to daughter's best friend's place, she for playdate, me for catch-up and lunch with the mommy! The morning drifted away in laughter and over delicious grub and when I got home in the evening, husband had just come back from his desert expedition full of clothes to launder and adventurous stories ;)

...........................

As I contemplated later in the night, I realized that the long weekend was a breeze even with H away. There was a time I'd sulk every time he'd go on a trip by himself (even if it was for official work) and the days would stretch endlessly until few years back a switch in my mind flipped. I realized that I did not need to be so dependent on him to fill all my time. I should have interests of my own and alone time too can be fun. By then I also had a lovely little baby who was growing up faster than I liked. I realized that spending quality time with daughter on my own could be transformed to magical memories with both planning or spontaneity, so, while I love time we 3 spend as a family, him being away at times does not need to be dreadful. I would feel myself accomplished if, when my daughter grows up she thinks of her mom as independent, loving and fun. There are few things as rewarding as a mom-daughter relationship, hence it should be exploited for all the benefits to both ;)

When H is away, to make these occasions count, it's absolutely mandatory to be independent. Having a car to self, knowing how to drive, having my own friends and interests and chores I can run and hobbies I fancy has been crucial. This is not arrogance nor is this selfish, it has just been a great way for me to live while I let him live. And while at it, we truly thrive.

These are times to catch up on some fun girl bonding actions- fashion, art, craft, shopping. These are times to fulfill cravings with food H does not necessarily enjoy and to renew the excitement in the marriage with space and trust!

Building my network and investing time, effort and thought into it has been such a blessing. I am lucky to have a group of close friends I can lean on. They did not magically appear in my life. I try to offer up babysitting time or other help to folks close to me so when I need, they reciprocate gladly. The benefit to this is, in case I feel overwhelmed or underwhelmed parenting on my own, I can quickly reach out and get support. That knowledge of the dependency net itself contributes to deep psychological safety and keeps my spirits up.

When husband came back today, I was terribly happy to be reunited but also equally happy to share mine as he shared his! We drifted into the busy work week ahead, me feeling strong and independent and rested while he felt energized and quenched from living his dream and thankful for my cooperation...

8 years of marriage and then some...

My marriage just hit the 8 year mark. And while I'd like to think we got this far because our match is made in heaven, both husband and I agree that would be a whole lot of BS. Then how did we survive all these years despite our hugely volatile temperaments and wildly different personalities? It is probably a sub conscious strategic maneuver of inter dependence that helped us hold it together, though, I must add, no amount of strategy can guarantee it will be held together for another 8 😎.

This week I was thinking (because that's what lazy people do, think!) that if I could conjure 8 lessons for my 8 years of marriage what would they be? Well, for better or worse, through calm and fury, here's the list I came up with.

Love with abandon

I read somewhere, 'Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them' and it struck a chord. Work, food, finance, weight, sleep: all things nowadays can be and is measured. The dreariest thing would be to develop a measure for love as well. I drive my husband crazy with my relentless silly, impulsive acts of love (he may call it a pain) but that's what makes it fun and exciting for me at all times.

Lay out your cards

Living with someone for an extended period requires a set of agreements. This in my opinion is just as true for a marriage! It is important to state and understand what items you are willing to compromise on vs what are things that are never negotiable. For example, for me, I can accept lack of heady romance but infidelity to me is unpardonable. Likewise I know what would be pardonable offenses to my husband vs what he'd never be able to forgive me for. This understanding of 'code of conduct' (if you will) helps give us both a lot of space to do what we want in our lives and yet set some boundaries.

Develop common interests

Husband and I had few to no common interests to begin with which was a problem. We could easily drift apart just by virtue of that. I loved hanging out with people, he loved his own company. He loved cricket and books while I never fancied sports or excessive book reading. Eventually, we recognized this was a problem and we both relented and started taking interest in each other's passions. We became accommodative in terms of time and energy and patience with what the other person enjoys doing, while also discovering totally new areas of common interests over time. Now we have a bunch of things we do best together.

Also, hold on to your personal interests

I was excessively dependent on my husband for his attention and time which was a cause of friction. I would hardly give him space and he'd hardly want to hang out with me all the time (or never!). This wasn't going well. I learnt over time to develop my own friends and also develop my own set of personal interests which dramatically improved our relationship. It gave me a renewed sense of purpose and heightened sense of self respect while also ensuring that after extended time frames of doing our own thing when we got back together we were curious about each other and exciting to each other and really looking forward to our time together.

Believe in equality and respect

Marriage is not a one way street. No one person could be responsible for everything-  financial stability, home making, cooking, parenting, social obligations etc. It is important for the relationship to be a partnership and for both partners to agree that they are equal and valuable contributors! That way, one does not develop a sense of unreasonable superiority and there remains a sense of ongoing mutual respect and understanding.

Don't go to bed upset

Arguments and disagreements are inevitable! But if happiness is a focus, it's so very important to not let things fester. Attempting to resolve things before going to bed every night may be a good strategy to ensure small issues do not become larger silences which then become a huge matters of ego. Both individuals need to play an active role in this, in willing to accept when one slips up and to apologize and the other person needs to accept the apology without too much fuss and be willing to move on. One rule we follow is attempting to not respond to anger with anger. If one party is angry the other party pleads guilty (however less guilty he/she may be in that instance) and proceeds to resolve the difference thereby de-escalating the situation. It can't be the same person apologizing every time though.

Dwell on the positives

We are not perfect nor are our partners. But there is a great deal of good that we may ignore if we constantly look at what others may seem to have and encourage wistful thoughts. Accept what is yours as you accept yourself despite the flaws and think positive thoughts. For all you care, your friend's seemingly perfect husband will never be yours to keep so moving on from those thoughts might not be a bad idea at all.

Prioritize each other

Spending time with each other, thinking about each other is just so important! If you continuously prioritize work, career, children over your partner you will drift apart in a manner that it will be difficult to get back together and build the lost friendship and rapport. Distant relationships often fail not just because of the physical distance but also because of the psychological distance it brings in its wake. A marriage absolutely needs physical and emotional closeness and interdependence. One needs to deeply feel the warmth and comfort of being with each other and for each other such that it becomes something you need and want repeatedly.

My husband and I are as different as night and day. But like one said, 'A great marriage is not when a ''perfect couple'' comes together but when an ''imperfect couple'' learn to relish their differences'. I believe we've learnt to accept each other for who we are and are deeply dependent on each other. This is what in my humble opinion helps a marriage survive the many cracks and dents. Hope it is helpful food for thought for others who encounter a rocky start like we did.

Interestingly, while I was thinking through this list, I was also curious about what my husband's lessons from marriage are so I asked him. Below is his list of 4! Maybe I should have never asked 😔

1. Wife is always right (of course!)

2. Wife will take your jokes and put a spin on it and make it hers  😏

3. Act busy or your wife will make you busy 😱

4. All mistakes will be caught, without exceptions, and documented for future reference 😂

As my face turned crimson😡,  to remedy damage, he added a 5th...

5. It's generally good to be married (even if it is just to have someone else to blame for things that go wrong)

😳😳😳😳😳

US Visa Renewal at Tijuana, Mexico

There is remarkably less information available online on this topic. But Tijuana, Mexico is one of the closest places one can go to from the US to get US visas renewed, specially if you are based in California. Given the short processing times (3 days) it is usually pretty convenient.

Paying Visa Fees

Each applicant for US Non Immigrant Visa has to pay the visa application fee (MRV) to schedule an appointment. When we scheduled our appointment mid 2017, Mexico Embassies and Consulates were not accepting Credit Cards and the only way to pay was to pay physically at a Banamex or Scotiabank which was painful. However, this might have changed now and credit card payment might be ok now. Once the fees are paid, one can use the 'MRV Fee Receipt Number' to secure visa appointments online.

Travel to Tijuana

Tijuana is just across the border from San Diego in Southern California. While one can fly to Tijuana, it is easy to drive across the border or cross the border on foot from San Diego, California. There are two Port of Entries (POE), San Ysidro and Pedwest and the latter is lesser known and recommended due to being newer, cleaner, faster and noticeably safer. On the US side the Pedwest entry point offers a huge face-lift compared to the the San Ysidro POE which is the world’s bussiest land broder crossing!

My family and I took an Uber all the way to the border and crossed on foot- it was quick and hassle free and we were able to find an Uber on the other side just as easily to get to the hotel. There is no payment required at the border but one needs to have valid documents to be able to enter Mexico - if you have a valid US visa that is sufficient to enter Mexico. If you don't, look for guidance here.

One can also reach the border by taking the San Diego trolley - the blue line goes all the way from American Plaza to San Ysidro border crossing. Pedwest is a brisk 20-min walk from the last station on the line.

Stay and Getting Around

Tijuana is not widely recommended as a place to go to due to historical incidents of violence (between 2008-2012). However, from our experience it is like any other place unless you are seeking drugs or prostitution. It is recommended to cross the border on foot as against driving because it is faster and there is lesser chance of getting into a situation where someone might try to use your vehicle to smuggle drugs back into the States or where you may get into some car trouble with your vehicle in Mexico (for example: In Mexico, they do not recognize your US car insurance as valid!).

In Tijuana, one could chose to stay in a decent hotel in a safe neighborhood if you can pay for it. I'd recommend the Hyatt or other nearby hotels (in Blvd. Agua Caliente)  because they are closer to places you can eat and very close to where you need to go for your visa fingerprints. Lot of folks going to Tijuana for US Visas stay at the Hyatt and it may be possible to pool in with others for rides to the Consulate or for company in general. There is a supermarket called ‘Super’ right next to Hyatt for things like water, milk, snacks, etc. There is also a small pharmacy within Super for basic medicines.

Ubers are widely available - the app offers you to choose from English speaking drivers at the same cost as Spanish speaking drivers so choosing the former may be helpful as you want to get around to the embassy or otherwise. Uber is almost always cheaper than a local taxi. With Taxis, you can negotiate the prices in Mexico.

Fingerprinting, Photos and Visa Appointment

You can check for details around US Embassies and Consulates in Mexico here and details specific to Third Country Nationals requiring Visa renewals here. When you set your visa appointment online, you will have to select two appointment slots- one for the fingerprinting and photos and the second for the actual visa appointment which happens typically the following day.

Fingerprinting happens at a different location from the Tijuana Consulate. The place is 5 mins walk from Hyatt. The process for fingerprinting and photos is quick and easy. Visitors are not allowed to carry any electronics so best to leave cell-phones back at the hotel. We arrived at the location early, it is free and we were done with fingerprints and photos ahead of scheduled appointment time.

The following day we had our Visa Interview at the Consulate. The Tijuana Consulate is located centrally, easy to get to and managed well. The staff are polite and helpful and the officers are experienced. It is important to arrive on time to clear security and it is best to not carry electronics. In fact, even Fitbits are considered electronics since they have GPS trackers - best to leave them behind as well.

In case you arrive at the embassy carrying anything that is not permissible inside, there is a small shop within the embassy waiting area which can hold it for you (for a small fee) until you are done.

Once inside, we first received a token number and then had an officer verify our documents (DS-160, I-129S etc). We then had to pay the fraud prevention fees (applicable to L visas only I believe, can be paid by credit card) and wait to be called for interview. This took a while but eventually when we were called the interview was quick. The officer asked us to come by the following day at 3 pm and collect our visas.

Visa Interview Outcome

Once the Visa Interview happens, I believe there are three possibilities- visa granted in which case one can collect the stamped passport the following afternoon and travel back to the US; visa denied in which case the officer should hand back the passport and a slip stating the denial reason - if the visa is denied you cannot get back into the US and will have to travel to your home country which can be expensive and a genuine risk. The third possibility is where the visa is held back for further administrative processing. In such a case, it may take a few days and additional documentation until the visa is either granted or denied.

Collecting the Passport and Return to the US

We went back the following afternoon at 3 pm to collect our visas as asked. There were few people whose passport were unfortunately not ready (both H and L categories) though they were asked to come that day to collect. In some cases, folks got their passports back the following day while in other cases it took 3-4 additional days. There could be additional approvals pending from Washington for select cases which prolongs the visa issuance time. This can be nerve-wracking for those on a schedule but if you are going to a third country for a visa, one should be prepared for this outcome and budget time accordingly.

We were able to cross the border without hassle the following day. The US Border folks were less familiar with L visas and took a while to issue the I-94 document but it was done eventually and I was able to cross-over.

When crossing back, always select Pedwest crossing for the reasons mentioned above. You would need to pay $6 for a copy of your I94 when entering back - change is available and I think credit card payments are also possible.

Hope this has been helpful for those who wish to get their US visas renewed at Tijuana. Mexico!

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