Power is a strange thing. It's wonderful to be in possession of it but can make you do shitty things without you being comprehensively aware of the consequences that will catch up with you sooner or later. When you abuse the power you have you go down a steep slippery route of recklessness that is impossible to recover from. It's like a drug, it brings you tremendous exhilaration, but with every additional step towards it, you are also proceeding towards a canon ball of self destruction that will hit you hard enough to crush you to jelly.
Starts well, ends with rock bottom.
Few days back my husband and I finished watching season 2 of Narcos- Pablo Escobar who killed and destroyed humans as if were ants, earned and splurged money as if it was just another piece of paper, who lived and dined as though he was the king of kings, died the death of a street-side con running across roofs with his overgrown disheveled hair and beard scattered over his shock stricken face and his inner parts spilled around him in horrific disarray.
Pablo had started off small, with a business that was illegal but he had the support of the disenfranchised Colombian masses of Medellin who saw in him their Robin Hood distributing largesse among the needy, food for the hungry and shelter for the homeless. But power being the thing it is had to go mess up with his head and he equally carelessly blew up hundreds in the city center to get even with the President. And mind you, that's just one of his many exploits.
Pablo is portrayed as a loving son, husband and father yet today his family lives on in other arts of the world having changed their names to escape from the horror of his legacy.
Pablo's was a real story, just as was Gaddafi's and Saddam Hussain's and just as many others in the anals of history. These power stories happen everywhere and they are so interesting to read or see; titillating to the point that you feel drawn to it and consumed by it. In a corporate environment, it's a sleek battle of flirting by the rules until the same rules screw you over. A person gets some power, gets comfortable with it and starts wanting more. Some work, some smartness, some luck and you get more power. Then if you are the wrong kind, you start having an opinion that is bigger and more bloated than the collective intelligence. Power is your aphrodisiac. People tease with your views until they figure where your line of intolerance lies. Some decide it's not their cup of tea or worth their time. There are other people around you (a smaller subset) that stand by because they revere you deeply for the power you have. Mind you, this acceptance should not be confused with respect. But given who you are, that is the exact mistake you will make. Some of their growth is also in your hands and they are willing for their personal sense of righteousness take a backseat for their next term goals. You enjoy the subordination more and more and tinker with it all along feeling a great sense of exhilaration.
Power is like a cataract that cloaks your vision of reality. It makes your ego grow bigger than your sense of righteousness. 'Power is the most persuasive rhetoric'- You may be saying all the right things on paper, like that you believe in humanity, in equality in diversity, in justice, in the power of redemption and yet you may be fawning the vices exactly in contradiction to those values. Like Lincoln said- 'Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power' and you fail just that test! You tolerate only those that agree with you and help confirm your views not those that have a lateral view point. You tend to think the former are smarter though all they are doing is being calculated in their moves to please you and move up the value chain with your support. You shun everyone else and though they feel lost at first, eventually they find better and more breathable grounds where they and their ideas are respected and the atmosphere is less toxic.
At the end, in the grand scheme of things, we all have limited powers. There are always those that are more powerful who will bring you to your knees. You may get by for a long time either because those around you are scared to speak up or think that it's not the best use of their time once they have moved on. You won, yes, your small dirty games, but really, you lost. Your character.
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