RV - Camping in style

DH and I have more disagreements than agreements but one of the two things we strongly agree on is our thirst for adventure. When we decided to move to the US, for a few years that is, our primary reason was not career focused, nor did we think US was the promised land that would deliver in every way India cannot*. Our reason to transfer to the US for a few years was to make some extra money to fund a long term dream and to explore America, the western hemisphere in general and all the adventures it has to offer up close in an affordabe manner as we earn in dollars.

Once we had our American job offers, one of the first things we decided was that we were going to treat the next 3-4 years as one large vacation away from home and created a bucket list of things to do, places to visit and things to acquire from the US for our long term needs. Camping was a very prominent feature on our bucket list and while at it we wanted to do it in style. Hence this October we rented a full 22 feet RV after drawing out a week long road trip and camping plan. Added incentive was that last November we had already procured our Annual National Parks Pass** and we needed to ensure we make maximum use of it.

DH drove the RV*** home on a Friday evening. It was more luxurious than we had expected - a queen bed, a bunker bed, 3 burner stove top, sink, chimney, microwave, fridge, freezer, sofa, dining table, TV, DVD player, grinder, toaster, pots and pans and serve ware, shower and toilet and so so much storage! We packed lots of picnic food (ready to cook mac-n-cheese, soups, mashed potato, maggi noodles, MTR ready-to-cook Indian comfort food) and ingredients for other South Indian comfort food to cook on the trip. Also dumped in ample clothes, utensils, rice cooker, games, lots of borrowed DVDs from the library, cleaning stuff, bicycle, bedding etc. We transformed the vehicle elaborately into our comfortable home on wheels for a week. For effect, I added a nice bedsheet and room freshener :)

The luxurious kitchen that I fully used to cook ~15 of the total 21 meals we had on the trip!

The queen bed at the rear and the ample cabinet storage for clothes and other stuff.

We started early morning on Saturday and drove most of the day to arrive at the Death Valley National Park in the evening. We stopped many times, for pictures and for some toy for my LO, gas and  refreshments but we were in time to capture some beautiful shots of the rolling mountains at Zabriskie point against the sunset. Furnace Creek Campsite had no hook-ups*** so it was more rustic than the rest. At dark, it was really dark - other RVs and tent dwellers at the campsite conserved power and maintained quiet to keep the natural atmosphere undisturbed. We let LO devour the DVDs we had borrowed from the library while we supped and cleaned and eventually napped.

Zabriskie Point at sunset

Next day at the crack of dawn DH drove the RV over to Zabriskie point again to get some more photos of the sunrise while LO and I still napped at the back. When we woke, we woke to a backdrop of cool breeze and dreamy mountains.

LO's view on waking up in the morn from her bed

After coffee and breakfast in-house, we drove through the desert landscape to Badwater basin where LO and I tasted the salt off the ground and clicked photos of us 282 feet below sea level. This is the lowest and hottest place in North America (though pretty cool at the time of our visit). Also, with Furnace Creek having the distinction of holding the record for the highest recorded temperature in the world, reaching 134 °F (56.7 °C) on July 10, 1913 we were feeling lucky to have hit a few high points of our trip already!

My silhouette  shot of DH and LO against the vast expanse of Badwater Basin

We drove for the remaining day to reach our next stopover point, Ruby's Inn Campsite at Bryce Canyon late in the night. From the hottest place in North America, in the space of 12 hours we had hit a destination where the night temperatures dropped below 0 °C and we braced ourselves for the night keenly aware of our lavish accompaniment of cold weather gear.

The next three days we made several trips in and out of the national park, hiking up trails, finding ourselves gorgeous sightings of the Hoodos from various vantage points (my husband's pictures here, here, here), participating in talks about the life of stars, eating delightful food at the local diner and hitting another first for us- a helicopter ride over Bryce!

After day three we drove over to Zion National Park where we were booked at the Zion Campgrounds. For me this was the best campground with the Watchman peak for backdrop and the Virgin river for music flowing right by where we were parked. This was our second time in Zion and we took shuttle rides, hiked and enjoyed the fall colors in the ground closely before it was time to call our trip complete.

Our view at the campground at Zion- the Watchman peak and Virgin river!

The RV experience is a must do provided you like to drive and prefer adventure travel over luxury as a holiday choice. DH drove nearly 2000 miles in 7 days but one can very well choose a shorter trip both in terms of days and distance. While the RV is super luxurious you still are stuck to a small bed, tiny bathroom, limited water supply and small cabin enclosures that you need to keep clean and tidy yourself. There are three water tanks and you need to make sure you have enough clean water and are not overflowing your grey and black water tank which means emptying them at the dumping station of the campground yourself. All of this is relatively straightforward provided you pay attention during orientation (during RV renting) and are reasonably adventurous enough to get your hands dirty. The vehicle itself was a gasoline guzzler so on days we drove a lot we had to re-fuel 2-3 times. I was responsible for food and cleanliness so I kept bringing out the picnic stuff, cooking up fun holiday food and alternating with eating out. Our fridge was stocked with some exciting stuff at all times and ice-cream to boot. There was Chips and Cheetos and cheese balls and candies for LO to look forward to at all times too.

Our complete route over 7 days

The middle cabin of the RV can be extended with a slide switch for more space when parked and while we did that a few times to make additional walking space we also used the picnic tables outside at Campsites for meals. We did carry picnic mats and the RV had an extendable awning but the weather was never warm enough to try these.

The slightly extended middle cabin and us using the picnic tables!

All the campsites were pretty, peaceful and cheap and also had clean showers one could use. We showered in the evenings using these showers instead of using the RV shower just to avoid the hassle of cleaning up afterwards. Most campsites also had a store nearby where you could pick up essential brick-a-brack. One can choose the spot inside the campsite where you park so it does make sense to drive around a little and choose a location that you like (convenience wise or scenery wise). Also, since the RV is super spacious I would recommend packing generously.

LOs safety and comfort was a little bit of a concern for us before we set off- we were worried about how she'd react to the looong drives and the rapidly changing weather conditions from one stop to another. We had set Taanu's car seat firmly in the middle for her safety and while the long drives were boring for her we compensated for it with two pitstops for toy shopping, lots of TV time (mostly in the nights when I cooked and Ajith took care of vehicle hook-ups) and generous helpings of ice-cream, chips and candies. TV is a bit of novelty for her as there is little to none of it at home and she thoroughly enjoyed that along with being able to play in rivers and sand banks, watching fishes swim and running around trees. She enjoyed the trip more than we'd have imagined which was a huge bonus for us.

Once we got back from the trip, we did a quick back of the envelope calculation of transport + lodging cost of this trip in RV and campsites vis-à-vis how it would be for a traditional fly + 2/3* rated hotel trip and this turned out to be more expensive. However, the cost can be substantially reduced through more economic choice of RVs. On the trip we noticed so many other models on the road. One that seemed really convenient was the Jucy vehicles which seem smaller and more economical for small families and short camping trips. Bottom line, there are many options to customize the trip- what we tried may seem arduous to many but worked for us quite well to live our long-nestled dream. We thoroughly enjoyed every bit of the trip but may not hire a guzzler this large again!

............................

Side Notes:

*: Good, bad, ugly, India's been my country and sort of perfect for me. In its chaotic way if life, my life has had purpose. In its unpredictability there was a euphoria that I need to survive. Too much order and too much structure is overwhelming for me and makes me feel out of place.

**: US has 59 National Parks. The entry fee to a park for one car one time is $30 but you can get an annual pass for $80. We used ours 7 times this year thereby suitably extracting full value. plus, what a way to celebrate the National Park Services 100 year anniversary, no?

***We booked our RV online from www.roadbearrv.com. It was a Class C Motor home that sleeps upto 4 adults.

****: Camp sites in the US are large grounds with parking spots for your RVs or spots where you can pitch a tent. Some will have provisions to connect the RV to direct source of power (for electricity) and water (for kitchen and loo). They will also have a pipe you can connect your sewage tank to, to dump the waste from your black water tank (poop and piss tank). These are sites with full hook-ups.

Abuse of Power- The quickest route to hell

Power is a strange thing. It's wonderful to be in possession of it but can make you do shitty things without you being comprehensively aware of the consequences that will catch up with you sooner or later. When you abuse the power you have you go down a steep slippery route of recklessness that is impossible to recover from. It's like a drug, it brings you tremendous exhilaration, but with every additional step towards it, you are also proceeding towards a canon ball of self destruction that will hit you hard enough to crush you to jelly.

Starts well, ends with rock bottom.

Few days back my husband and I finished watching season 2 of Narcos- Pablo Escobar who killed and destroyed humans as if were ants, earned and splurged money as if it was just another piece of paper, who lived and dined as though he was the king of kings, died the death of a street-side con running across roofs with his overgrown disheveled hair and beard scattered over his shock stricken face and his inner parts spilled around him in horrific disarray.

Pablo had started off small, with a business that was illegal but he had the support of the disenfranchised Colombian masses of Medellin who saw in him their Robin Hood distributing largesse among the needy, food for the hungry and shelter for the homeless. But power being the thing it is had to go mess up with his head and he equally carelessly blew up hundreds in the city center to get even with the President. And mind you, that's just one of his many exploits.

Pablo is portrayed as a loving son, husband and father yet today his family lives on in other arts of the world having changed their names to escape from the horror of his legacy.

Pablo's was a real story, just as was Gaddafi's and Saddam Hussain's and just as many others in the anals of history. These power stories happen everywhere and they are so interesting to read or see; titillating to the point that you feel drawn to it and consumed by it. In a corporate environment, it's a sleek battle of flirting by the rules until the same rules screw you over. A person gets some power, gets comfortable with it and starts wanting more. Some work, some smartness, some luck and you get more power. Then if you are the wrong kind, you start having an opinion that is bigger and more bloated than the collective intelligence. Power is your aphrodisiac. People tease with your views until they figure where your line of intolerance lies. Some decide it's not their cup of tea or worth their time. There are other people around you (a smaller subset) that stand by because they revere you deeply for the power you have. Mind you, this acceptance should not be confused with respect. But given who you are, that is the exact mistake you will make. Some of their growth is also in your hands and they are willing for their personal sense of righteousness take a backseat for their next term goals. You enjoy the subordination more and more and tinker with it all along feeling a great sense of exhilaration.

Power is like a cataract that cloaks your vision of reality. It makes your ego grow bigger than your sense of righteousness. 'Power is the most persuasive rhetoric'- You may be saying all the right things on paper, like that you believe in humanity, in equality in diversity, in justice, in the power of redemption and yet you may be fawning the vices exactly in contradiction to those values. Like Lincoln said- 'Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power' and you fail just that test! You tolerate only those that agree with you and help confirm your views not those that have a lateral view point. You tend to think the former are smarter though all they are doing is being calculated in their moves to please you and move up the value chain with your support. You shun everyone else and though they feel lost at first, eventually they find better and more breathable grounds where they and their ideas are respected and the atmosphere is less toxic.

At the end, in the grand scheme of things, we all have limited powers. There are always those that are more powerful who will bring you to your knees. You may get by for a long time either because those around you are scared to speak up or think that it's not the best use of their time once they have moved on. You won, yes, your small dirty games, but really, you lost. Your character.

Bengal and Matriarchy: Views of a Kolkata girl

Being a Bengali woman I have often being told or asked if Bengal is a matriarchal state. The answer is no, it is not. A Matriarchy is a social system in which the women hold primary power, predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege, and control property at the specific exclusion of men at least to a large degree.

This perception about Bengal is widely prevalent in India because Bengali women are generally forward, forthcoming and let's face it, dominating. There are very good reasons why they are that way and this is not me trying to justify a behavior. And based on my life experiences from the first 20 years of my life in Kolkata, which may not be representative of all of West Bengal, I shall summarize them below for the edification of the masses.

In an average literate Bengali household there is not much discrimination between girls and boys, not at birth and not beyond. All the facts below relate to the same broad group.

1. The boy:girl ratio in Bengal is normal which is an indication of low female foeticide. Broadly translated it means that in an average Bengali household, people are as happy to be blessed with a girl child as a boy. Wikipedia.

2. Most households will try and provide the same education and even higher education to a boy and girl.

3. Dowry is less prevalent in 'middle and upper' class Bengali families compared to several other parts in India. The cost of a marriage ceremony is split between the groom and the bride's family with each hosting one of the two primary wedding related functions.

4. Women in Kolkata often travel alone, late in the evening and night and mostly use public transit. Women sit in the front of autos which would be rather uncommon, in say, Hyderabad or Chennai etc. Eve teasing is a problem but nothing like Delhi proportions.

5. There is no urgency for girls to get married. It is mostly acceptable for a girl to finish her studies, often get a job and then get married.

6. There is decent focus on intellect and qualification for a woman as against than beauty hence there is less stress on a young woman in Bengal to doll up and look pretty to impress.

7. There is generally less use of make-up and accessories compared to Delhi or Mumbai. In a lot of literary circles in Bengal being dressed up involves stark colors, cotton clothes and bags, glasses as against contact lenses, khadi slip ons. Added bonus for short cropped hair, large bindis and books for accessories that create a look of power and intellect and less of feminity.

8. Most women are well versed in some form of art- poetry and music being most common. Literature is a prized accessory for most bengalis. They love showing off their literary wealth rather than their monetary wealth. Hence there are more Bengali women online and offline, writing blogs, voicing their opinion in public, rousing the masses and engaging in political or social debates.

9. The Kolkata I grew up in was not an easy place to be. It's crowded (not just with bengalis but immigrants, many from within India- Rajasthan, Bihar primarily and Nepal and Bangladesh), it's super hot and sweaty and generally poor. It teaches you to be tough and resilient ( did I mention the street food that is so cheap and delicious yet unhealthy that your immunity grows rock solid) and prepares you for life's potential hardships.

10. Parents show no mercy to the girl child when it comes to expectations. They are expected to be smart, to work, be independent and be reliable just as the boy child or sometimes even more. You will often hear people say aloud and unabashed that they have more hope and expectations from their girl child than boy just because they are psychologically stronger.

As a result of all this socio-cultural influences bengali women are gutsy and opinionated. They have been encouraged to take responsibility and take a stance and they do so with confidence. Mamata Bannerjee is a great example of simplicity and confidence if not of many other things. While a lot of women in Bengal may hate to be associated with it, her style is considered quintessential to women of Bengal.

However the forwardness, the confidence, the combativeness does not mean the society is matriarchal. It just means that the society and specially it's men treat the girl child no different from the boy child. Culturally and socially, the woman is still expected to give up her maiden name and adopt her husband's family name at marriage. She still goes into the husband's household and may stay with his parents or family and not the other way around. Kids take their fathers name and carry forward the same and not that of the mother. Individually one may choose to be otherwise.

Obsessive parents come in many forms

My daughter is growing up. Really fast.

I feel time is slipping right through my fingers as I struggle to absorb every bit of her growing up process. This is evident in the way she develops independence around her tasks- from constantly seeking company earlier to now being able to pretend play by herself; from wanting to be dressed to now dressing on her own and developing an acute sense of combination between top and bottom wear; from being completely disinterested in food and oblivious of what's being fed to developing a keen knack for some flavors, enquiring what's for dinner and expressing clearly what she'd like to eat.

I see the same evolution in a very pronounced way with her language development. She does not speak any of our mother tongue (mine or Ajith's) but speaks really good English. She says things I think are fancy for her age, that catch me off-guard, like - 'my neck in aching' (not paining :O), 'papa are you kidding me?',' don't bother me', 'this is too complicated', 'did my teacher validate if I was a good girl', 'Pati i want to remain mute with those kids' etc.

However, there are some pretty basic English phrases she says all wrong.
For example- If I ask her, 'Taanu did you talk during circle time?', she says, 'No'.
Then I ask, 'Are you sure?', she says, 'No', though she means- 'Yes, I am sure'. In her mind she is reading the 'Are you sure?' as a repeat of the first question.
I have noticed her do this consistently and never bothered to correct her. In my mind, this is a quirk from her baby vocabulary that I cherish. Until one day recently, I said, 'Are you sure' and she answered- 'yes' losing that piece of babyism I was relishing.

Another example is when she's showing us something, she says, 'Papa, look at' and points at the object, never completing her statement with a 'that' or anything more. It's always just 'Look at' and a finger pointed! We have always noticed her speaking this way and I have found it rather amusing. Yesterday at Target when she said the same thing, her dad started teaching her how  the sentence is incomplete and how she needs to add a 'that' or more to I found myself thinking panic-stricken, 'No, no, let her say it wrong, I like how it's so her style!'

Another small example is the way she says the phrase, 'My own'. If you hear carefully you'll notice she always says, 'Myrown' and not 'My own'...

It's amusing even to me how I notice and hold on to these small quirks of hers hoping she retains it. I hold myself in my tracks thinking I am probably turning obsessive, specially because I have one child but I don't seem to want to let her grow up and grow out of these. As a mother here I am promoting her speaking a language wrong over wanting to fix it and up-skill her language wise. Is that me showing signs of obsessive parenting in obsessing over my her babyhood?

Love affair of the threenager.

My little girl has developed her first crush! <3 And we are realizing how the story of a smitten three year old is not too different from that of a smitten teenager and hence this is good learning for the future for us parents! Just so you know, we are trying to be very hip and cool about it while ensuring we do not pass on the wrong message (ahem).

Also while the current is strong and is taking us all by storm I wanted to record the details for posterity, so here we go. The little boy (to preserve whose anonymity I shall call him ITRH which stands for Is-This-Really-Happening!) is her Montessori Preschool classmate that she can't stop talking about lately. Below, find excerpts of our recent family conversations around this topic.

~

Taanu to me: 'You know momma, during... nap time... he is always looking at me from his bed! Every time I look he looks. When I turn in my bed, he turns in his!' (These are small separate floor level day beds that they use in class in school for preschool afternoon naps!)

~

Class teacher to me: Taanvi is very social and happy and she is more friends with boys that girls!

Me, thinking: Should I ask more. Nope. Ignorance is bliss.

~

Me, to Ajith: Can I request you something? I don't expect a lot of qualification from a 4 year old boy. But can you please check him out? I hope he's pretty dashing :D

Ajith, to me: What nonsense!

Two days later, once I am home after picking Taanu from school because Ajith was running late at work, Ajith to me: Did you check him out? What do you think?

Me: Whaat?  I thought you were opposed to it!

~

Me, in the morning: Taanu, did you sleep well? Did you have any dreams? Who did you dream about?

Usual answer: Mmm, I dreamt about 1. Sophia 2. Elsa 3. Ana 4. Dora 5. Boots 6. Spiderman...etc

Today's answer: I dreamt about ITRH!

Me: Really!!! In your dreams too :((

~

Taanu: Mamma, you know, today ITRH said he's Elsa! I told him, No- how can you be Elsa! You are the boy, you be Kristoff. I will be Elsa!

And then she insisted she wear the Elsa t-shirt to school today to remind both him and her of their standing in life!

~

Me, to Ajith yesterday (in hindi so Taanu does not understand): When I was entering her school today she was in the playground running towards her class. By the time, I reached the door of her class, she was already seated at the circle. Everyone else in the class was all over the place. Only she was sitting quietly beside one other child at the circle, which is odd for her. Wonder if that is him.

Taanu, from across the room: Mumma, the boy I went and sat beside was ITRH you know!

Ajith and I: Rolling eyes helplessly :(

And last of all!

~

Taanu today, after returning from school: You know what ITRH said today....

Taanu's daddy, pretty dramatically, and with full Bollywood daddy flourish!- 'Enough of ITRH now, no more of him in this house!!!'

Well, quite surely, that's not the last we'll hear of him, but yes, I shall parade this story no more on the internet :D

Moms... have you considered?

It's mother's day today... and as I read so many wonderful posts around great moms a few not so great stuff I heard/read lately come to mind. This post is dedicated to all moms out there... moms who are mentally, physically and psychologically stronger than they think, more resourceful than they know, more independent than they like to believe and more capable of taking on any challenge than they admit!... And I am not here passing judgment so if I hurt sentiments, I sincerely apologize!
.......................................................................

Moms- There are few things we deliberately keep out of our mind or hate to think of. More so in the east compared to the west. We are superstitiously dismissive about it. These are- potential infidelity in marriage, divorce and mortality! We like to believe they don't happen to us but forget that they are very very real, happen all the time around us and can happen to us as well! When they happen to us, unless it is public, we keep it under wraps, we blame ourselves for our misfortune and suffer in silence. We deal with it sometimes well, sometimes not so well, sometimes with support and often without...

Throwing stats out there will take away from the essence of the message here since there are unlimited ways to slice and dice numbers, but just to get the conversation started- 

• 50% of first marriages fail (this is for US only and the numbers are higher for second and third marriages!)

• It is estimated that roughly 30% to 60% of all married individuals (in the US) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage...And these numbers are probably on the conservative side. Link
• Nearly 1.3 million people die in road crashes each year, on average 3,287 deaths a day. An additional 20-50 million are injured or disabled. More than half of all road traffic deaths occur among young adults ages 15-44.

This topic is too morbid and unwelcome so I will not go into a lot of details and keep my message below short. Fate has its way in our lives and if any of this was to happen, while they can't be prevented, there must be things we could/should do during the general course of living our life to deal with them. Few thoughts:

• Be as independent as you can
• Financially: We all have skills that are tradable for money, so make your own money. Not for money's sake, but to be independent and to grow necessary smarts. Fending for yourself makes you worldly aware, broadens your horizon, makes you multi-task, makes your partner more respectful and helps mitigate single earner risk. Remember the person you are depending on for your basics probably has too many dependents and that is not good for his stress, for practical issues like job-losses or health-issues or for the fact that life and relationships may not be forever! If one needs to suddenly critically  fend for herself and children at a later point in life, being prepared would be helpful!
• And otherwise: Pick up essential skills. Learn to drive, learn to cook, learn to use the internet for basic life needs! Not just this but other skills that are essential to be less dependent in your case- none of this is rocket science trust me, you can do it!

• Save when you can and be fiscally fit
• You are likely to have some financial assets of your own- money, property, jewelry, etc. Be aware of your assets, have them in your control, understand what money can do for you and how if you ever need to take charge. If you don't have any assets of your own, please change that asap! Remember, if a tragedy was to hit you would rather have fewer things to deal with.

• Make a will
• This is for women and men. If a tragedy was to befall, do you know who would take guardianship of your child or does your extended family know of your assets? Most likely not. Make a will- put down the details of your assets, your wish around guardianship of your child in your absence (god forbid), the executor of the will and terms of execution. In the absence of the same, crazy things can happen.

• Remember you are not alone, but prepare in advance as though you are!

I am not trying to scare everyone witless on a happy day. Just urging that practical considerations are made towards life and relationships and their potential. Also, I know motherhood is difficult and sometimes with small children around, all other considerations go out the window. That is real and you need to prioritize and in fact that's what makes you exceptionally strong, but those considerations should not hold you back from these considerations forever. Also, even if life is absolutely kind to you (God willing!), these can still be great steps towards your happy life, your psychological comfort and safety, your and your partner's peace of mind and your child's environment and future!

P.S: If you neeed some more encouragement, read this story I chanced upon online.

Mother Daughter Creative Pursuits!

Between my husband and I, he is the outdoor adventure one while I am the rock-the-world within the confines of the home type. But both of us have decent attention spans with things we enjoy doing. Turns out our little one can't focus as much. Teacher at Montessori said to me one day, 'she's quite distracted you know, seldom finishes her tasks, always looking for an avenue to run!' That's it. After several rounds of horror, disbelief and introspection I decided I needed to remedy the situation. And there comes my daughter-mother art projects!

Fast forward 3 months and I am proud to announce that we have quite a few fancy achievements tucked in our belts. Find below, both the pictures and a little side or back-story for each...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is from the time when we saved up the toilet paper cardboard rolls, slit it up into thin strips, painted and pasted them together to make flowers which in turn were hung together in Taanu's creativity wall as a wall-hanging! More ideas online.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I found this beautiful ceramic paint-your-own tea set at World Market. Taanvi used the vivid colors to color while I painted designs on them. The father soon decided to join in as well and put paint to brush.

The set is complete- with 4 cups and saucers and spoons and napkins, tea-pot, milk and sugar pot! The paint and brush also come in the box and the paint can easily be washed off. Whenever the painting become a little messy we just washed off and did over again!

Not only did it prove to be a lovely way to spend an evening but the set is a permanent addition to my daughter's play area kitchenette where she serves tea to visitors!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another time, Taanvi and I decided to welcome spring by adding some gorgeous color to the patio! We made our way to Osh one glorious Sunday afternoon and picked out some very colorful flowering plants. We tried to get a variety of colors and then picked out equally fascinating pots. With help from the nursery experts there, we then potted our plants and got them back home! There is now a little spray bottle that Taanu uses to water her plants! The best thing about Osh is that they are willing to exchange plants that die on you, which for a complete plant killer like me is such a confidence booster!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks back we were fortunate to have a lot of visitors at home. Relatives had come to tour the Bay Area and were staying with us for a week! Unfortunately along the same time Taanvi had fever and while the visitors went sightseeing she was confined to home. Sorely upset she kept whining about how she wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge that very day and no amount of consolation helped! Mind you, she's seen the bridge many times but she just could not bear the idea of being home while others toured the city. Finally I told her how they were silly to go out in the hot sun to see the bridge when we could instead have the bridge come see us! That caught her fancy! So I sat down with ruler and red paper and wool to construct a Golden Gate model of our own. I must admit this was more me than my daughter but the activity was beyond riveting for the 2.5 hours until complete!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then just this weekend Taanvi and I went fruit shopping to make our own fruity popsicles! This is so easy and fun and healthy, I recommend all parents try this with their kids. All it takes is some colorful cut fruit and lemonade to be poured in moulds and frozen! More images online.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Below are some more pictures of Mommy-Taanvi artistic pursuits- some involve chalk and board, others involve decorating a Christmas tree or making a snow-man! These are the more impromptu ones requiring either lesser planning or represent those that were done outside of the above 'mission' or related deliverables.

All of these activities have been a source of immense pleasure for me. Yes, they require energy and planning and participation, but heck, what's parenthood without some immersive fun!

P.S: Leave me a comment with your favorite idea from above or with an idea of yours that we should try!

It's been '1'derful!

As we completed a year of being away from India and in the Bay Area, I can't help myself reflect about what this place is all about. I absolutely cannot deny that the Grand United States has clean roads with high speed lanes and little pollution, great infrastructure and schools and parks and what not. But that you and I knew already and repeating any of that adds no value of perspective. I appreciate all of it, mistake me not. I  wonder what then would be those few things that stand out for me, that will remain with me as life lessons when I leave this place in a few years.

First... is the respect and courtesy everyone shows to a fellow human being. Be it the executive at the barista counter to the server or the sales guy at the theater ticket counter to the customer or the passer by on the streets. There is always a polite smile and a harmless kind greeting that everyone has for the other. The simplicity and thoughtfulness of this cultural trait absolutely amazes me. I must admit, when I am in a long line (can't say queue in America!) and finally get to the front with several people still beside me, I sometime gush straight to the point (force of habit) and then am baffled and absolutely embarrassed at my crassness when the sales person flashes his wide smile and 'how are you doing today' with just the right dollop of sweetness.

Second is the tremendous love for the outdoors, sports and fitness I see all around. Mostly people here are up and about. They hike, bike, trike, walk and take part in all kinds of sports. There is a place for everything. The same zeal is passed down from parents to kids. I love the seriousness with which a father teaches the child to sled or ski or the mother bikes with kids in a trailer. Its envious how it runs in the DNA and is valued much over domestic activities. There is lot more seriousness about play over work or study making a person worldly wise and adventurous. I was absolutely gobsmacked seeing fencing classes and indoor skydiving and deep sea diving lessons on offer and parents religiously pushing their kids to get involved. I am hoping that by the time I leave this country I start getting into a regular fitness regimen and improve my overall wellbeing..

And lastly, I really envy the tremendous DIY spirit here in America. Everyone is an engineer on their own merit here, building and fixing and hauling their own houses and cars and boats and what not. This is completely unlike the hoards of pseudo engineers India's private engineering colleges produce en-mass with no aptitude or eye for designing or problem solving. Hired help is expensive here and that forces you to be independent and innovative and boy, what fun it is to do something on your own from scratch. This is something that I always had in me a little bit, but out here, I've grown wings! In my little way, be it with being innovative at the kitchen or with handiwork around the house, I an always setting myself up for bigger challenges. This one year has been great for me personally, with me planning a great outdoor birthday party for Taanvi with DIY decorations, baking a super fancy birthday cake for Ajith, going crazy with fancy appetizers in the oven and making decorative pendant lamps. Let's see what more I can build in the next years to come!

 My 1st year celebration DIY lampshade :)