Love affair of the threenager.

My little girl has developed her first crush! <3 And we are realizing how the story of a smitten three year old is not too different from that of a smitten teenager and hence this is good learning for the future for us parents! Just so you know, we are trying to be very hip and cool about it while ensuring we do not pass on the wrong message (ahem).

Also while the current is strong and is taking us all by storm I wanted to record the details for posterity, so here we go. The little boy (to preserve whose anonymity I shall call him ITRH which stands for Is-This-Really-Happening!) is her Montessori Preschool classmate that she can't stop talking about lately. Below, find excerpts of our recent family conversations around this topic.

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Taanu to me: 'You know momma, during... nap time... he is always looking at me from his bed! Every time I look he looks. When I turn in my bed, he turns in his!' (These are small separate floor level day beds that they use in class in school for preschool afternoon naps!)

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Class teacher to me: Taanvi is very social and happy and she is more friends with boys that girls!

Me, thinking: Should I ask more. Nope. Ignorance is bliss.

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Me, to Ajith: Can I request you something? I don't expect a lot of qualification from a 4 year old boy. But can you please check him out? I hope he's pretty dashing :D

Ajith, to me: What nonsense!

Two days later, once I am home after picking Taanu from school because Ajith was running late at work, Ajith to me: Did you check him out? What do you think?

Me: Whaat?  I thought you were opposed to it!

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Me, in the morning: Taanu, did you sleep well? Did you have any dreams? Who did you dream about?

Usual answer: Mmm, I dreamt about 1. Sophia 2. Elsa 3. Ana 4. Dora 5. Boots 6. Spiderman...etc

Today's answer: I dreamt about ITRH!

Me: Really!!! In your dreams too :((

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Taanu: Mamma, you know, today ITRH said he's Elsa! I told him, No- how can you be Elsa! You are the boy, you be Kristoff. I will be Elsa!

And then she insisted she wear the Elsa t-shirt to school today to remind both him and her of their standing in life!

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Me, to Ajith yesterday (in hindi so Taanu does not understand): When I was entering her school today she was in the playground running towards her class. By the time, I reached the door of her class, she was already seated at the circle. Everyone else in the class was all over the place. Only she was sitting quietly beside one other child at the circle, which is odd for her. Wonder if that is him.

Taanu, from across the room: Mumma, the boy I went and sat beside was ITRH you know!

Ajith and I: Rolling eyes helplessly :(

And last of all!

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Taanu today, after returning from school: You know what ITRH said today....

Taanu's daddy, pretty dramatically, and with full Bollywood daddy flourish!- 'Enough of ITRH now, no more of him in this house!!!'

Well, quite surely, that's not the last we'll hear of him, but yes, I shall parade this story no more on the internet :D

Moms... have you considered?

It's mother's day today... and as I read so many wonderful posts around great moms a few not so great stuff I heard/read lately come to mind. This post is dedicated to all moms out there... moms who are mentally, physically and psychologically stronger than they think, more resourceful than they know, more independent than they like to believe and more capable of taking on any challenge than they admit!... And I am not here passing judgment so if I hurt sentiments, I sincerely apologize!
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Moms- There are few things we deliberately keep out of our mind or hate to think of. More so in the east compared to the west. We are superstitiously dismissive about it. These are- potential infidelity in marriage, divorce and mortality! We like to believe they don't happen to us but forget that they are very very real, happen all the time around us and can happen to us as well! When they happen to us, unless it is public, we keep it under wraps, we blame ourselves for our misfortune and suffer in silence. We deal with it sometimes well, sometimes not so well, sometimes with support and often without...

Throwing stats out there will take away from the essence of the message here since there are unlimited ways to slice and dice numbers, but just to get the conversation started- 

• 50% of first marriages fail (this is for US only and the numbers are higher for second and third marriages!)

• It is estimated that roughly 30% to 60% of all married individuals (in the US) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage...And these numbers are probably on the conservative side. Link
• Nearly 1.3 million people die in road crashes each year, on average 3,287 deaths a day. An additional 20-50 million are injured or disabled. More than half of all road traffic deaths occur among young adults ages 15-44.

This topic is too morbid and unwelcome so I will not go into a lot of details and keep my message below short. Fate has its way in our lives and if any of this was to happen, while they can't be prevented, there must be things we could/should do during the general course of living our life to deal with them. Few thoughts:

• Be as independent as you can
• Financially: We all have skills that are tradable for money, so make your own money. Not for money's sake, but to be independent and to grow necessary smarts. Fending for yourself makes you worldly aware, broadens your horizon, makes you multi-task, makes your partner more respectful and helps mitigate single earner risk. Remember the person you are depending on for your basics probably has too many dependents and that is not good for his stress, for practical issues like job-losses or health-issues or for the fact that life and relationships may not be forever! If one needs to suddenly critically  fend for herself and children at a later point in life, being prepared would be helpful!
• And otherwise: Pick up essential skills. Learn to drive, learn to cook, learn to use the internet for basic life needs! Not just this but other skills that are essential to be less dependent in your case- none of this is rocket science trust me, you can do it!

• Save when you can and be fiscally fit
• You are likely to have some financial assets of your own- money, property, jewelry, etc. Be aware of your assets, have them in your control, understand what money can do for you and how if you ever need to take charge. If you don't have any assets of your own, please change that asap! Remember, if a tragedy was to hit you would rather have fewer things to deal with.

• Make a will
• This is for women and men. If a tragedy was to befall, do you know who would take guardianship of your child or does your extended family know of your assets? Most likely not. Make a will- put down the details of your assets, your wish around guardianship of your child in your absence (god forbid), the executor of the will and terms of execution. In the absence of the same, crazy things can happen.

• Remember you are not alone, but prepare in advance as though you are!

I am not trying to scare everyone witless on a happy day. Just urging that practical considerations are made towards life and relationships and their potential. Also, I know motherhood is difficult and sometimes with small children around, all other considerations go out the window. That is real and you need to prioritize and in fact that's what makes you exceptionally strong, but those considerations should not hold you back from these considerations forever. Also, even if life is absolutely kind to you (God willing!), these can still be great steps towards your happy life, your psychological comfort and safety, your and your partner's peace of mind and your child's environment and future!

P.S: If you neeed some more encouragement, read this story I chanced upon online.

Mother Daughter Creative Pursuits!

Between my husband and I, he is the outdoor adventure one while I am the rock-the-world within the confines of the home type. But both of us have decent attention spans with things we enjoy doing. Turns out our little one can't focus as much. Teacher at Montessori said to me one day, 'she's quite distracted you know, seldom finishes her tasks, always looking for an avenue to run!' That's it. After several rounds of horror, disbelief and introspection I decided I needed to remedy the situation. And there comes my daughter-mother art projects!

Fast forward 3 months and I am proud to announce that we have quite a few fancy achievements tucked in our belts. Find below, both the pictures and a little side or back-story for each...
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This is from the time when we saved up the toilet paper cardboard rolls, slit it up into thin strips, painted and pasted them together to make flowers which in turn were hung together in Taanu's creativity wall as a wall-hanging! More ideas online.

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I found this beautiful ceramic paint-your-own tea set at World Market. Taanvi used the vivid colors to color while I painted designs on them. The father soon decided to join in as well and put paint to brush.

The set is complete- with 4 cups and saucers and spoons and napkins, tea-pot, milk and sugar pot! The paint and brush also come in the box and the paint can easily be washed off. Whenever the painting become a little messy we just washed off and did over again!

Not only did it prove to be a lovely way to spend an evening but the set is a permanent addition to my daughter's play area kitchenette where she serves tea to visitors!

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Another time, Taanvi and I decided to welcome spring by adding some gorgeous color to the patio! We made our way to Osh one glorious Sunday afternoon and picked out some very colorful flowering plants. We tried to get a variety of colors and then picked out equally fascinating pots. With help from the nursery experts there, we then potted our plants and got them back home! There is now a little spray bottle that Taanu uses to water her plants! The best thing about Osh is that they are willing to exchange plants that die on you, which for a complete plant killer like me is such a confidence booster!

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A few weeks back we were fortunate to have a lot of visitors at home. Relatives had come to tour the Bay Area and were staying with us for a week! Unfortunately along the same time Taanvi had fever and while the visitors went sightseeing she was confined to home. Sorely upset she kept whining about how she wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge that very day and no amount of consolation helped! Mind you, she's seen the bridge many times but she just could not bear the idea of being home while others toured the city. Finally I told her how they were silly to go out in the hot sun to see the bridge when we could instead have the bridge come see us! That caught her fancy! So I sat down with ruler and red paper and wool to construct a Golden Gate model of our own. I must admit this was more me than my daughter but the activity was beyond riveting for the 2.5 hours until complete!

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Then just this weekend Taanvi and I went fruit shopping to make our own fruity popsicles! This is so easy and fun and healthy, I recommend all parents try this with their kids. All it takes is some colorful cut fruit and lemonade to be poured in moulds and frozen! More images online.

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Below are some more pictures of Mommy-Taanvi artistic pursuits- some involve chalk and board, others involve decorating a Christmas tree or making a snow-man! These are the more impromptu ones requiring either lesser planning or represent those that were done outside of the above 'mission' or related deliverables.

All of these activities have been a source of immense pleasure for me. Yes, they require energy and planning and participation, but heck, what's parenthood without some immersive fun!

P.S: Leave me a comment with your favorite idea from above or with an idea of yours that we should try!